Salaries to Be Paid with Rape Plant?

The glory of Drazdy growers is unattainable.

The main event of August is August. It’s the gold age, the harvest is ripe. Sensational news comes from the main outdoor bed of the country. The glory of Drazdy growers is unattainable. And even hard-workers with land plots became gloomy and gave up. Because, they say, that carrot on beds of august personages is really high. To find out whether its devoted admirer Steven Seagal is in a hurry. A few more days and the sweet watermelons will be on tables of stunned veterans by the highest generosity. In general, there is abundance.

In this situation a common man would jump with joy and fuss with a hose in beds of dill. But the ruler cannot allow himself such a thing. And no matter how the view of plantations look, the concern is still acute. What is going on on fronts of the national struggle for the harvest? Is the rate of harvesting high? Is everything fine with the best equipment in the world? Do combine operators work hard?

It is scorching heat. But there is a familiar mirage in a hot air of Brest region: a gloomy man is walking next to a dusty combined harvester. He takes a strict glance at the reel and watch whether all spikelets are harvested. And a crowd of local officials in buttoned up suits follows him at a distance.

However, this is not Africa and not a mirage. This is a common battle scene. The chronicle of that very battle for the harvest. And of course, a strict line on the move: "How are things with rape plants?"

Bingo! Another one being inspired by perfect work of the reel would begin to talk extensively about the quality of straw. But this is not our story! Only rape plants. And instead of an expected answer - are you here to check the reel? - a strict report is voiced: we will have enough rape plants!

A long-awaited essence. We will make it through the winter. To spite enemies. There will be enough rape in the country. For the sake of this fateful moment, the national leader broke into the very thick of the battle for the harvest. There's no telling what could be but him. Unforgettable Chapaev throwing a pot of jacket potatoes on the table taught his comrades-in-arms and descendants where and when a commander should appear during a battle. And this lesson is still useful.

The scorching sun was getting higher. Brave comments accompanying the leader made us feel proud for success. He suddenly wanted to compete not only in armwrestling with combine operators and give flowers to their wives, but also to make something very specific and indisputably good for modest fieldworkers. And here the ruler comes up with the idea: why don't have salaries of citizens raised?

And a spoken word takes its flight. Now he can make a promise of salary of 1500 rubles! In the next two years it is possible, if we pull up to the level others problem companies. But it is not pants, how is it possible? Even a baby knows that such changes require reforms. Comprehensive. Fundamental. Where are they?

And round faces of those who usually follow the leader suddenly began to resemble an exclamation mark indicating complete prostration and bewilderment. Does the weather have influence on the boss? Or was that reel so inspiring?

As soon as this sensation became public, economists and other skeptics wondered about 1500 rubles... And where should we get it from? The country is in debt to the armpit. This year more than $4 billion should be paid out to creditors. The total debt of the state is growing and has already reached 40.4% of GDP. The economy is completely depressive. Military psychosis reached the last stage of the almost forgotten Cold War. When all values are freely converted into weapons, and there is no reverse move.

In addition, a myriad of masters of rubber batons -all sorts of riot police, special forces and other untouchables of all kinds and sub-species- are on the neck of the people. Here we should also mention officials and other consumers of funds of the treasury. And how is it possible to make a promise of 1500 rubles, even when "$500" has become a fairy tale like once solemnly declared communism? And in general, in conditions of a protracted crisis, the government's promises about any kind of blessings for the people are a chest-thumping rhetoric.

Where do they get these sentiments? And what do we know about possibilities of the leaky budget of our mysterious country, where almost everything is prohibited or simply closed for registration? Finally, why is Khlestakov, in the heat of inspiration, allowed declaring even forty thousand couriers, and the ruler's revelations of a good life in future are immediately questioned?

And is it not too late, gentlemen? A high idea has already become public. Particularly advanced ladies began to think over the dress code that corresponds to the new standard of living of our prosperous country. And the quirkiest men rushed to have a morning drink on trust at nearby places. How can he disappoint their hopes with a small carrot on a string calling it the upcoming reality? No, he could not give such a promise, if there were no real plan.

All these doubts and senseless calculations are caused by a usual lack of familiarity with plans and intentions of the authorities. On the very day when the ruler was to invade the hottest points of the nationwide battle for the harvest, something extraordinary happened. Of course, to some extent this is all an apocryphal story. The event that could not happen. And if did not happen, how should we explain events that are going to take place in the autumn?

So, as if the ruler had come to his garden early in the morning and taken the master's look at curly coats of carrot tops and other gifts of a smart land and was very pleased with it. Everything succeeded. And it could be the symbol of a prosperous country under a wise leadership. And suddenly he mentioned something red, round on a distant bed. Something horribly familiar. Yes, exactly! It was enough to slightly brush off abundant dew, as crabbed letters appeared on a shiny side of a mysterious volunteer plant. This is Decree No. 3, new edition. The very decree. A familiar one and half-remembered. What a pleasure! This is even better than to find an Asiatic ginseng in an unexplored taiga.

Putting his knowledge in the agronomy together, the ruler stated that the vegetable would be in by October. And then ...

And well-remembered letters of happiness will fly over the country. And the autumn hunting for spongers will begin. The tax and judicial systems will squeak. Bailiffs will work hard. And there will be mountains of money that can plug the hole in the budget. It will be possible then to buy missiles and raise salaries. As it was said earlier "please, wait for an answer."

There is no other option, dear. But only to imagine the real picture of hopeless obedience, its price and possible consequences. It's even better not to recall any reforms there. Especially when the night falls. Otherwise, one can burst into bad thoughts. Why is the ruler so concerned about the harvest of the rape plant? Is this company going to pay in kind?

There are no more options.

Uladzimir Khalip for Charter97.org